A Xeedho Ceremony

An aunty unwrapping the Xeedho

Last week I was honored to be invited to a Xeedho ceremony for Kanni, a Djiboutian friend of mine who was recently married. "What's a Xeedho?" you ask.  Well since it was new to me too, I'll borrow the explanation she gave me:

"The xeedho is a wooden eating bowl commonly found in all nomadic households in Djibouti. At weddings, the bowl is filled with a palatable dish (called the muq-mad - which is the beef jerky Somali style) prepared of sun-dried meat which has been fried in butter and seasoned with spices and to which dates are added in large quantities. The muq-mad, recognized to be a delicacy, is a nutritious, life giving foodstuff and is especially appreciated by the nomadic community. It lasts for a long time and thus serves as a reserve food in nomadic households, often being given as a treat to distinguished guests.

At the xeedho ceremony, the basket is given a human form. It is “clothed” in a similar attire to that of the bride, brought to the wedding by her relatives. The bowl with the dish is usually stored in a basket consisting of two conical baskets joined at right angles, covered with a piece of tanned leather or white cloth, nicely decorated with cowrie shells and tied together with leather strips and cords in a very complicated way. Under the direction of an unmarried woman "presiding" over the ceremony, every young male of the groom's family is called to try to untie the rope. The woman overseeing the ceremony watches carefully each young man's attempt to find the knot and untie the rope. If the woman judges the attempt too brusque, or unconvincing, she sentences and applies a form of "punishment" varying from reciting poetry to dancing. When the ceremony is successfully finished, people join together to feast and celebrate. The ceremony is celebrated on the seventh day of the marriage. It concludes the whole wedding ceremony. The xeedho is a gift given by the mother to her daughter and son in law and the goal is to promote social cohesion."

The xeedho ceremony I attended was a ladies-only event (with the exception of a brief appearance of the groom and a couple cameramen who came to capture the memory) and primarily done as a way for her to include her foreign friends--most of whom weren't at the wedding-- in the celebration of this new chapter of her life.  If I were to sum it up in one word I'd say "Delicious."

(Facebook friends: I've posted more photos in my Xeedho Ceremony album)

The Great North Road Trip

In my forth month of pregnancy my husband Stuart, anxious that our time in Zambia was coming to an end, insisted that we take a big road trip to explore Northern Zambia.  The adventurous week on the road produced many amazing stories and ended with an exciting finale (i.e. our flipped and totaled SUV on a bad remote road).  I should write about them in detail one day, but for now I'll share Stuart's description of the route we took.  If you ever have the chance, we suggest you try it. 

The Great North Road Trip  -written by Stuart Denyer

The Great North Road.  Its imperial title evokes classic adventure the length of Africa.  While the Cape Town to Cairo route of Cecil Rhodes’s dreams never quite came to fruition, the section of it in Zambia is the country’s equivalent of Route 66, and links all Zambia has to offer.  Heading north from Lusaka, one will see spectacular waterfalls, ancient cave drawings, a Bemba chief whose great grandfather buried Dr. Livingstone’s heart on his land, a grand colonial estate, a tropical beach resort, historic roadside monuments, and this author’s favorite spot in Zambia: the hot springs where one can sit in the effervescent warm waters beneath a magnificent African night sky.

Here is one possible itinerary taking the Great North Road and beyond to explore northeastern Zambia:

Day 1

Depart Lusaka mid-day (e.g. after work on Friday), driving to Mkushi. 

Overnight at the Forest Inn.  A simple but charming lodge with cottages in the forest, just off the main road.  

Day 2

Kundalila: An easy hike from main road

Leave early in the morning to drive northwards.  Just past the Serenje turnoff, stop at Kundalila waterfalls.   Hike down to the base of the falls and back.  (An on-site guide can point you in the right direction after you pay the nominal entrance fee.)  Consider a stop at either Nsalu or Nachikufu caves (probably not time for both) to see prehistoric rock paintings.  (You will need the on-site guide.)  Past Mpika, turn left off the Great North Road when you see the signs to Shiwa Ngandu. 

Many of Northern Zambia's rock paintings are 10,000-20,000 years old!

Famed Shiwa N’gandu estate is a magnificent English country manor house dropped into a remote part of Zambia.  Its history is thoroughly documented in Christina Lamb’s Africa House, which tells the story of Stewart Gore-Brown, a man with big dreams, and still the only white man to receive a state funeral (post independence) in Zambia.  It is a working farm run by Gore-Brown’s grandson, Charlie Harvey and his wife Jo.  

Overnight: Shiwa N’gandu estate.  The cost is high, but then this is not really for average travelers needing a bed.  It’s for history lovers. Dining with the Harveys in their beautiful dining room is akin to joining a family dinner.

The famous Shiwa N'gandu

Day 3

There is a choice of activities on the estate.  Go on a safari drive with Charlie; no, you won’t see roaming lions, but where else can you do a safari with three beloved ridgebacks straining past you to see out, with a Jack Russell on your lap?

Go for a horseback ride with Ms. Harvey up to Gore-Brown’s hilltop gravesite, or hike up to the second highest peak in Zambia, just as Dr. Livingstone did.  See their working farm, or simply sit in the library, sipping sherry, and delve in to Gore-Brown’s original photo albums, or inspect his diaries in the tower room.

In the later afternoon, depart the main house and drive down the road to the adjoining Kapishya Hotsprings, owned by Charlie Harvey’s brother, Mark. 

After an excellent family-style dinner at Kapishya, including chatting with the Welsh manager and other guests, sit in the bath-tub temperature waters of the hotsprings.

Overnight at Kapishya Hotsprings where they have a lovely pool and gardens. 

Kapishya Hotsprings

Day 4

Drive west on the dirt, but very well graded, road leaving Kapishya.  At the paved road, turn right (north) towards Kasama.  Just after the Chambeshi bridge (from which one can see on the left the remains of an older bridge that was bombed out during the Rhodesian conflict of the 1970s), make a turnoff on the left toward the old bridge to visit the Von-Lettow Vorbeck Memorial, the site of the final shots of W.W I.  (It took awhile for word of war’s end to reach the German army here.)  Arrive in Mpulungu and leave your car (as directed by the lodge where you will stay). Take a lodge skiff to the lake resort.  [Caveat lector: The Isanga Bay lodge skiff does not run after dark; we arrived just a little bit too late and were forced to overnight in Mpulungu, a slightly chaotic port town.]    

Overnight at Isanga Bay Lodge Alternate is Ndole Bay Lodge

Isanga Bay Lodge

Day 5

Kalambo waterfall

Visit Kalambo waterfall (2^nd tallest in Africa; twice the height of Victoria Falls).  The lodge can arrange a boat to get closer and from there it is a rather strenuous guided hike that takes several hours.  (Those less fit might consider just driving to the falls after leaving Lake Tanganyika). 

Enjoy swimming and sunning from the lodge’s sandy beaches on Lake Tanganyika.  (The owners promise it is free of crocodiles and bilharzias.)

Overnight at Isanga Bay Lodge

Day 6

Take lodge skiff back to Mpulungu.  Those with an extra week in their itinerary might want to take the MV Liemba from Mpulungu to Kigoma, Tanzania.  The Liemba, a German-built steamer, has been plying these waters for almost 100 years and visits Mpulungu once a week.  Sunk by the British during W.W. I and then raised from the bottom to serve as a passenger and cargo ferry, this ship (along with two other German warships) served as the inspiration for the warship featured in the story “African Queen.”  Aside from the Liemba, it’s also possible to negotiate passage on one of the cargo ships.

In Mpulungu, on a hill above the port, visit Niamkolo church, established by the London Missionary Society and the oldest church in Zambia.  (The stone church is currently missing a roof).  Near here is also the remains of the Good News, the first missionary boat, although we were unable to locate it.

From Mpulungu drive to Mbala (formerly known as Abercorn) to visit the Moto Moto museum, the best collection of Zambian African history after the Livingstone Museum.  (If you didn’t visit Kalambo Falls earlier, you could at this point drive to the falls, located on the Zambia-Tanzania border.)

Drive south to Kasama.  On the eastern outskirts of Kasama, visit Mwela Rocks.  A guide at the entrance will join you in the car to point out various ancient cave drawings, including unmistakable fertility depictions.  Sadly, some of the cave drawings were lost in the 1970s as the Chinese builders of the Tazara railway thought the rocks had more value as railway trestles.

Overnight at Thorntree Guest house, a simple but pleasant establishment run by a former British schoolteacher.  

Day 7

Chishimba Falls

Drive westwards toward Mansa.  Not far outside Kasama, stop at Chishimba Falls, a highly accessible set of three dramatic waterfalls.  At the middle waterfall, with some caution, one can walk across the rock plateau next to where the water goes over, for a classic African vista down the gorge.

[Caveat Lector: The road as far as Luwingu is paved.  Thereafter, from Luwingu to Mansa, the road deteriorates into a dreadful rocky mess.  Though he was not driving at the time, the author’s car spun out of control and rolled over.  This sort of thing can put a damper on a holiday so one may wish to avoid this road.  In fact, it may have been overly ambitious to think one could drive from Kasama to Samfya in one day, especially with a stop at Chishimba Falls]

Overnight at Bangweulu Bay Lodge (just outside Samfya), one of the few such lodges owned by an African-Zambian.  Enjoy hot tea and biscuits watching an orange moon rise over Bangweulu lake, the largest natural lake in Zambia.  The next morning, sit on the sandy beach and watch a shimmering sunrise over the lake (but you may not want to swim in the lake).

Day 8

Drive south on the excellent road that cruises past the Bangweulu wetlands (and passes over the longest bridge in Zambia).  Just before Kasanka park (known for the spectacular bat migration, at the right time of year) you will see a turnoff on the left for the Livingstone Memorial and Chief Chitambo’s Village.  Chief Chitambo’s palace is just one km from the main road and it’s well worth it to have an audience with this English-educated and forward-thinking chief.  His great-grandfather was with Dr. Livingstone when he died.   Any history aficionados will consider the 25 km dirt road (in good condition) well worth it to reach the actual monument where Livingstone’s heart and other organs are buried.  (The rest of him was taken back to Westminster Abbey in London.)  After returning to the main road, continue southwards, rejoining the Great North Road, towards Mkushi.

Overnight at the Loza Guest House, a renovated British farmhouse that provides excellent meals.  It’s a 10km dirt road off the main road.  An alternate, simpler lodging is Serenje’s Mapontela Guest House, which was started by a former Peace Corps Volunteer.  

Day 9

Drive southwards towards Lusaka. 

In Kabwe (formerly known as Broken Hill) there are two sites of interest:  Heading southwards in the middle of town, take the parallel road one block east of the Great North Road.  Outside the stately government provincial building there are two monuments: a war memorial and a memorial to the discovery of Broken Hill Man, an important archeological discovery linking apes to us.  Just past this is the well known Big Tree (represented on the 50,000 kwacha note), a well-known meeting place in Kabwe.  Just after leaving Kabwe, on the right, is the Fig Tree café, a pleasant spot to get a milkshake or lunch.  (Note: Fig Tree is closed on Sundays.)

-Stuart Denyer (former Vice-Consul who immensely enjoyed exploring Zambia). 

For more photos of the journey, visit Taylor's Facebook album

Remembering Lusaka

Remembering our baptism

It has been pointed out to me that I haven't blogged in a long time. These days I mostly share my adventures via Facebook. That said, not everyone regularly reads FB newsfeeds and not every story can be summed up with a status update or a captioned photo album. So, perhaps I'll start again and begin by telling some of my favorite stories from where I left off.

Not long after my last blog post I discovered that Stuart and I would soon become parents. I had a rather rough first trimester, but we wanted to hold-off on announcing the pregnancy, so I tried to mask my illness and continued with my church work in Lusaka. In fact, when the pastor of the main United Methodist congregation in the district said he could no longer handle his commute due to the heavy rains and bad roads, I was appointed as senior pastor at Matero with the deal that when the roads finally dried I could leave town for my commitments in Indiana and Congo.

No longer itinerating around the district allowed me to journey through all of Lent and into Easter with the same congregation. The experience had its challenges (like marching all morning on a hot day in a heavy robe in an ecumenical Palm Sunday parade while battling morning sickness), but it overall it was wonderful. Together we explored how to enrich our Lenten journey and made plans to make Easter extra special.

My husband and I have a tradition of inviting embassy friends to our house for a Maundy Thursday dinner followed by a contemplative Taize service and Passion reading. When I arrived at church (visualize a rented classroom in a poor part of town) the next morning to lead the Good Friday services, the Taize hymn “Jesus, Remember Me” was still floating through my head, so I decided to introduce it to the congregation. The result was powerful. I had never experienced Taize like this; it brought tears to my eyes as the song swelled pentecostally and morphed into what it was intended to be—an intense communal plea for Christ to not abandon us. The service and song became one; spoken reflections on the Passion and scripture readings served as short rests between its refrains. It is moments like this that make me feel incredibly blessed to work in a setting where contexts collide and enhance each other.

Our beautiful Easter morning sanctuary

Blessing a marriage on Easter Sunday

On Easter morning I arrived with decorations from home (wedding crystal, silk flowers and tablecloths) and was delighted to find our normally shabby classroom had already been transformed by the women of the church. Pink toilet paper, salvaged balloons, curtains from their homes—everything they could gather had been used. I was honored that morning to officiate the baptism of ten children, ritually bless a common-law marriage and welcome three new members. What a day! The members were still talking about it with pride and enthusiasm when interviewed by a visiting American pastor months later.

Join the Club

 When I was in middle school, my mother sat me down and explained that when people say "How are you?" (including when at church) it is a greeting not an actual question.  About the same time that I learned that it was a social faux pas to be candid about one's state of mind, I was realizing that most folks don't see the world the way I do. Luckily, the world is a big place and over the years I've found kindred spirits who don't mind my idiosyncrasies. We're a hodgepodge of mostly introverted geeks and we keep in touch via the miracle of the internet.  Interestingly, we span a large range of professions, theologies and fixations.

So what is the glue that binds us together?  I suspect it is the thing that "The Doctor's" companions have in common (yes, I'm a big Doctor Who fan)... the thing that Buckaroo Bonzai and the A-Team had... the thing that makes TED great... and it also seems to be the thing that attracts people to our approach at Friendly Planet Missiology.  

Without ‘it,’ it can be difficult to connect with someone no matter how similar they appear on paper.   So what is ‘it’?  I’m still working out a theory, so feel free to help me out. Folks that have “it” tend to

• Be Out-of-Sync with the World. You find human behavior baffling, recognize you're operating out of a different paradigm, have concluded that you aren’t crazy (at least not when it comes to that), and have come to some sort of peace with this despite still wishing things would change.    
• Appreciate Quirky Humor. There are plenty of people whose passion for social justice has made them so angry that they can’t enjoy a good joke.  I don’t mean biting sarcasm. I mean silly witty pun-filled banter.  Take the world’s problems seriously; just don’t take yourself too seriously.
• Practice Radical Grace and Hospitality. Even if someone doesn’t quite fit in (like Penny in Big Bang Theory) your first-hand knowledge of how it feels to be rejected makes you committed to including all those in need of love---from Alexandra Wallace to Congolese Warlords.
• Ask ‘How are You?’ and Want to Know.  You see people as individuals—not objects to manipulate to reach your career aspirations.  You even gladly make sacrifices for them.
• Feed your Curiosity and Challenge Assumptions.  You love learning and will risk losing what you think you know in order to explore the deeper—or better—question.  No belief is too sacred to be reexamined, and no one is ostracized for asking an honest question.  
• Take Action. You have a vision of a better way of living. Live into it and invite others to join you. 

So this is an idealized list.  I’d like to say it describes me, but it’s really a description of my favorite people. I have to frequently remind myself to not be so serious, to let down my guard, and to set aside my own thoughts long enough to stop and truly ask ‘How are you?’

Success and the R.O.U.S.

“This goes completely against our model,” said the head of SIFAT.
“Ours too,” I said.

It was a recipe for disaster; we’d both seen these sorts of projects crash and burn before, and neither of us wanted anything to do with a fruitless money pit. We knew what most to avoid: top-down initiatives—particularly ones that started with a “great idea” by an American and involving a sudden large infusion of money/resources. Doing so almost always resulted in the community neither taking ownership of the project nor having the political capacity/motivation to effectively maximize the potential of the resources given.

Why in the world, then, did SIFAT accept a group’s offer to help build a SIFAT training center in Lusaka, and then Friendly Planet Missiology agree to help make it happen?

I’ve been procrastinating addressing this question directly hoping that I could find an academic way to articulate what we both had intuited. After all, I do seem to be pulling a missiological version of “Do what I say; not what I do” on this one.

Simply put, we agreed it felt like a force more powerful than us had thrust us into this endeavor—assuring us that we’d been cast as actors in a grand plan. Plus, despite all the reasons why it sounded like a very bad idea, it appeared to be the way forward.

This week I realized that I already knew what to say to such questions. When the wise leader Westley in the film The Princess Bride was told “We’ll never succeed.” he responded,

“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has… We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt. No problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each. We can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand. You were clever enough to discover what that looks like. So in the future we can avoid that too.”

“Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.s?”

“Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.” 
[the viewer know he is fibbing, and they are promptly attacked by one]

I think that about sums up how I feel about the realities of trying to build a SIFAT appropriate technology training center on United Methodist land in Lusaka despite the limited capacity/size of the UMC here and that none of the leaders here knew anything about SIFAT until they were informed by their bishop in DR Congo that the center would be built.


Is this risky? Yup. Can we succeed? With the dream team of SIFAT, Friendly Planet, Bishop Katembo, our new Assistant Bishop, and many local leaders, of course we will. After all, we managed to overcome many of the dangers thus far. Am I’m failing to mention the challenges I know to be ahead? You betcha. Should you try this at home? I wouldn’t recommend it.

However, if you do find yourself stuck in charge of a problematic mission project [Pastors and mission chair folks: I’m especially talking to you], I’ll say to you what my family always says to me: Have fun storming the castle!

The Price of Rocks and the Glamorous Life

Unlike most married women in America, I do not own a diamond ring. Instead of a shiny rock on my hand, there is a delicate pearl (just what I'd been looking for) that I found on sale for $40. It sits next to a simple band that we found in a box of wedding rings at an antique shop.

Don’t misunderstand me; I am a girly-girl who loves getting dressed up and wearing pretty jewelry, and my husband would have presented me with something expensive when he proposed had he not known me better. Fortunately, he knows that when I look at the display windows of a shop that sells gemstones I become physically ill. All I can think about is where the rocks probably came from and wonder what underpaid (or enslaved) person suffered to obtain it. My mind whirls with the testimonies of Congolese friends who have described the horrific conditions of so many of the mines—of Indian slaves locked in containers when they aren’t being forced to dig and of small children risking their lives to find baubles for foreign brides. Why would I want all that blood on my hands, ears and neck? (Yes, I do recognize the irony of me writing these words on a laptop containing coltan, which was probably stolen from Congo and sold to buy more weapons)

You can imagine how I felt, then, when I ended up with a group of American women yesterday on a tour of a jewelry workshop with a mini-lesson on gemstones. I tried to be open-minded and optimistic. Earlier this year I toured one mine in Congo run by an American company trying to operate humanely. They had high safety and environmental standards and had even built houses, schools and clinics for the workers and nearby communities. Perhaps this store would reassure me that they knew exactly where their gemstones came from, and that the miners were well treated and fairly compensated for their work. Instead, the owners talked in circles in response to my questions. Sigh.

After the circle talking ended, the group went back to oohing and ahhing the shiny rocks spread before us. (Was I really the only one disturbed that they never said they maintain a clean supply chain?) We heard all about different kinds of stones, where they are found—turns out Zambia has the most valuable emeralds in the world—and how to tell the difference between a $50 rock and a $50,000 rock. Most of the time you have to look extremely closely and often with a microscope to see the differences. The gemologist placed before us rocks of various values so we could become better at recognizing the quality ones. She even showed us the current prize in their collection. You could buy a decent house for what they’ll probably get for that large rock. (I noted an uncomfortable grimace when I remarked on what the unnamed miner who discovered it would be able to do with his share of the profits.)

Next we were told about various tricks used to fool people—many of which can even trick experts. Did you know, for example, that companies frequently irradiate stones to darken their color, since a darker shade can increase the price by thousands of dollars? We were told to ask stores how long ago their stones were irradiated; apparently they ought to sit for a year for their radiation levels to decrease.

Now here’s the thing: Say what you will about me, but I just don’t get it. If you placed before the average person two trays: one with thousands of dollars worth of cut gemstones and the other with manufactured imitations, s/he would have to look closely to tell the difference and even then might guess incorrectly. The first tray probably involved human suffering and degradation to acquire. The second was made in a laboratory and/or factory by better-paid (but probably still not enough) workers. Which tray do you prefer?

I’d say tray #2, but quite frankly, I’d much rather an option C: like a necklace of reclaimed wood or recycled glass or something. I would wear it with my clearance rack dresses and Chinese-grocery-store dance shoes while eating locally grown ‘real’ food enhanced with fresh herbs from my garden and admiring my collection of handmade art (most of which cost me less than lunch at Burger King).

a) $5 (blue crystal), b) $1,300 (Tanzanite), c) $112 (California Sea Glass)

Which is which, and which would Taylor rather wear?

Let's get this straight: This blog post isn’t about me being holier-than-thou or frugal (although my cousin is the Queen of Free). It isn’t even about my financial situation or some sort of sacrificial abstinence from the finer things in life. I am not sacrificing anything; I have a beautiful home, eat delicious meals, attend elegant functions, travel the world and look fabulous while doing so thank you very much. I am not silently judging you, my dear friend, when I glance at the shiny rocks you are wearing as you tell me how you want to end suffering in the world; I recognize that my purchasing habits are also hypocritical and we're on this journey towards sanctification together.

What I’m really trying to say is this: It is high time we step back and reconsider how we define the glamorous life because the status quo is hurting the world and not making us any happier (yes, I did just rip that off from Annie Leonard). Let's recover from our affluenza by revisiting our views on quality and style. If we don’t, we are doomed to a world where even the most glamorous of our evening functions consist of women wearing the cost of college tuition, men wearing what they wore to the office and the d.j. blasting techno all night. Is that what we really want?  Is it?? Perhaps the only thing worse than saying “Let them eat cake! and Have our old clothes!” is not realizing that our cake is nasty and we're actually naked.

Of course, you should take everything I write in context. After all, I'm just that odd ballroom dancing United Methodist pastor who lives in somewhere in the heart of Africa.


Taylor

Build Week and Being a Good Friend

Build Week

My last few weeks have been engulfed in the “big build” here in Lusaka. The heads of SIFAT, the Southeast Jurisdiction’s VIM coordinator, a big team from Trinity UMC Birmingham and others flew into town to start putting up buildings on The United Methodist Church’s plot of land. They worked alongside a couple hired professionals and a team of volunteers including several local pastors, pastor’s wives, lay leaders, UMW members, youth—even the Bishop’s Assistant and a representative from the bishop’s office in Lubumbashi came down to help.

The Americans and many of the others have gone home now, but the work is not yet complete. A small local team is pushing to get the caretaker’s home in move-in condition (i.e. walls, roof & doors; electricity and running water will come next year we hope) by the end of the month. I’m taking a break for a few days and leaving it to the local leadership to carry this phase of the project to the finish line.

Other phases of construction will come as the funding is raised, although the Lusaka District won't sit on its hands waiting for another American team to arrive next summer. They’ve already put together their own fundraising plans: crushing & selling stones from the plot’s rocky land and putting in a sweet potato crop come planting season. In addition to the planned SIFAT appropriate technology training center, long-term proposals from Lusaka district leaders include expanded farming, a poultry project, a sanctuary, school, parsonage, clinic, and an orphaned/abandoned children’s center.

For those who have engaged me in lengthy off-the-record chats about my thoughts on various forms of “mission trips,” you may find it odd that I have become so active in a project that involves Americans spending well over $50,000 (per workteam) to fly to Africa and volunteer on a construction site for a few days. Frankly, so do I. It is God’s quirky sense of humor, I suppose that all of this fell into my lap. Or, perhaps, I was chosen because my ambivalence kept me focused on how to make this the start of an empowering relationship that will bear much fruit on both sides of the Atlantic.

Taylor

For those interested in some of my missiological reflections from this week, then keep reading below. ☺

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Being a Good Friend

It happens to all of us: Someone we love has a problem, and we rush in to “fix” it. Is this being a good friend? Sometimes yes; sometimes no.

Sometimes what our friends or family members need is an extra set of hands to lighten heavy burden of an overwhelming task. Sometimes they need our expertise on a subject. Sometimes they need to borrow our power tools. Sometimes money is needed. Sometimes, they could just use a shoulder to cry on.

Other times, however, our help is not only not helpful; it enables unhealthy behavior. Many who have lived with persons with addiction issues or even physical or developmental challenges understand this problem very well. Thus, the acts of giving our labor, advice, objects, money or even shoulders can help our friends or reinforce the underlying problem and ruin an opportunity for transformation.

When my father and I needed a name for our ministry, we choose Friendly Planet Missiology partly because TheoPraxis had already been taken, but mostly because it highlighted the core of our missiology: we assist in the transformation of communities by being good friends to those whom God has called to serve in them.

Much of the logic of how to be a good friend can be applied across the planet. So here’s a quick quiz for you—Which of the following domestic and international “mission projects” are examples of being a good friend and which are harmful?

a) Physically building and/or repairing a house/clinic/school/church/etc.

b) Donating food & supplies for homeless persons/schools/clinics/orphanages/etc.

c) Funding the purchasing of toys/mosquito nets/wells/Bibles/bicycles/boats/etc.

d) Sponsoring a child/school/congregation/orphanage/etc

e) Funding a scholarship program

f) Leading a Vacation Bible School in a poor community

If you answered “It depends” to all of the above, then you are correct. To discern whether an action would be helpful, one should start by studying not just the problem but asking if the solution really requires our assistance. Doing something for people that they can do themselves is rarely helpful unless both parties view the act as an expression of love--not charity. Even this is treading on thin ice when the giver is financially wealthier than the recipient. It is much better to focus on the building of relationships and wait for appropriate opportunities to be a good friend to emerge.

When it comes to being good friends to our colleagues serving in DR Congo and Zambia, the ways in which we could help seem overwhelming at times. They are up against enormous challenges; it is tempting to rush in with every ‘solution’ that we know. However, the roots of these problems are deeper than lack of cash or objects. No amount of bank wire transfers or containers filled with supplies will fix the problem just as $10 million from Bill Gates would not solve the problems in your congregation. Sustainable solutions are messier than that; in every corner of the planet they require the transforming of hearts and minds.

We are striving to be good friends to the folks serving in the trenches who are making disciples for the transformation of the world.

Thank you for being our friend.

 Taylor

D.S. Rev. John Ilunga and family living at the SIFAT center's caretaker's house

A reflection/discussion exercise:

Think of one of your very best friends—someone who is the wind beneath your wings. What is it that s/he does that has made the difference in your life? What has s/he refrained from doing that has boosted your confidence? When this friend helps you out of jam, what do you appreciate most about the way in which s/he offers assistance?

Now think of the well-meaning person in your life who deflates those wings. (If you can’t think of anyone, count yourself lucky—and perhaps reflect on if you are that person) Do they give you help or advice that you never asked for, assuming that you aren’t capable or smart enough to handle things yourself? Do the presents they give you make you feel more ashamed and/or resentful than joyful? Would you have to “swallow your pride” if you ever had to ask this person for help?

What do your experiences suggest about how to be a good friend to people in your community and across the planet?

House upon the Rock & Explaining Friendly Planet Missiology

The push this month has been to get the ground leveled and the foundations properly poured before the American team arrives in Lusaka. So, I’ve been catching myself humming the old VBS song “The wise man built his house upon the rock…” and this got me thinking about a better way to explain the function of Friendly Planet Missiology: 

People state-side love financing tangible development projects.  We love knowing that our money bought a bicycle, a mosquito net, a cow, a clinic or a water-well. Like a house, all of these things are intrinsically good. The issue, though, is whether these projects are built on a firm foundation or whether we are being fools building on the sand. When we talk about Friendly Planet making leadership development its #1 priority, what we mean is that we spend time and resources making sure the local leadership has the desire and capacity to support a project before we start pouring money into it. Yes, the projects on the ground that we advertise may sound similar to what other organizations are doing, but the projects we ask you to finance are unlikely to collapse because they are being managed by inspiring local leaders whom we know well.

Building strong foundations can be expensive.  It requires site visits, salaries, training, and follow-up. This is what we mean when we talk about calculating the total cost of a project. Advertisements that promise that “100% of your donation goes directly to purchase an X” may sound appealing, but stop and ask yourself “Where is the money coming from to make sure the X that I donate gets from point A to point B and that it works once it gets there?”  

Friendly Planet cannot and will not make you “no admin costs” promises. Instead, we promise you that the funds you donate will be used to develop strong local leadership and to finance the projects of these leaders. We are very excited about the projects of the Congolese and Zambian leaders whom we have the privilege to call colleagues, and we hope that you will help spread the word about this ministry.  

The Countdown is On

The countdown is on here in the Lusaka district.  The SIFAT execs are arriving this Friday and a large delegation from Trinity United Methodist Church of Birmingham, AL arrives next week.  They’ve come to assist in the building of a United Methodist/SIFAT training and conference center just north of town. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, this project is a big deal and has required a large team effort:

With the blessing and remote supervision of Bishop Katembo (based in Lubumbashi, DR Congo), Lusaka United Methodists have dealt with the headaches of purchasing land, getting permits, researching logistical questions, supervising work, guarding the property, etc.  SIFAT is taking on the fundraising for the construction expenses (including obtaining significant donations from B.L. Harbert construction). Students in University of Alabama’s Engineers Without Borders chapter have drafted building plans and plan to return each year for a work-week (the university gives them academic credits for this).  Trinity United Methodist Church is joining the effort both in fundraising and visits.  And me—I find myself serving as the “middle-woman,” passing messages back and forth across the globe and doing the legwork that others cannot due to barriers such as language/distance/transportation/contacts/lack of internet/etc.    

Keep the countdown in your prayers; I’ll be blogging about how the visit goes!

A Wedding, a Funeral and other stuff

It’s Labor Day weekend in the USA as I begin to write this, so I’m reflecting on this whirlwind of a summer (although, technically it has been ‘winter’ here in central Africa). For those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook, I’ll recap:

Shortly after I returned from The United Methodist Church’s (UMC) Indiana Annual Conference session, my parents came to Zambia for a visit. Mom had received a teacher renewal grant from the Lilly Foundation and was excited about having the opportunity to take her first trip to Africa in nearly 15 years. We started the visit off with an extended weekend drive down to the south of Zambia so that Mom could see Victoria Falls and go on a safari in Chobe National Park. We crammed a lifetime of wonderful memories into those few days (see photos on Facebook) before driving back to Lusaka to prepare for the second part of the journey: a family trip to DR Congo to attend the 100 Years of Methodism in Congo celebration in Lubumbashi followed by The UMC’s North Katanga Conference gathering in Kamina.

 

Sadly, just as we were preparing to hit the road, we were informed that my mother’s father, Grandpa Jim, had passed away. My husband Stuart scrambled into action and managed to get Mom and Dad on the next day’s flight back to the USA; we stayed behind in Lusaka, and I spent the next few days glued to Skype in order to stay connected to Grandma Lois and the family that had gathered back in Indiana. After taking time off to grieve, Stuart and I got in the car and began the long and harrowing drive across the Kasumbalesa border, since people were still counting on (and had already begun preparations for) our attendance at North Katanga’s Annual Conference. 

Grandpa Jim Thompson

It is hard to express my joy in being finally able to bring Stuart to North Katanga's Annual Conference. There, he met countless friends and colleagues about whom I had spoken for years, but who lived in too remote regions for Stuart to have met them. He also got to meet the kids at our Methodist children’s home. Stuart was so glad to witness first-hand my ministry in North Katanga.  …So here come the confessions:

1)    Stuart confessed that up until that point he had never really comprehended what it was that I did during my frequent trips to Congo. My talk about “leadership development” and “transformation conversations” hadn’t computed. Now having seen me in action (meeting with colleagues, making my daily ‘rounds’ to the clinic, orphanage and other ministry sites, etc) it all made sense to him.  “Great!” I said, “Now that you understand, would you teach me how to describe it to the folks back in the USA?”  Frustratingly, he couldn’t come up with words for it either.

2)     Next, Stuart made an observation that cut through the heart.  “When you’re here,” he said, “you become a different person—someone who until now I’d only seen in glimpses. You radiate with love for each person you meet; it’s no wonder that you’re so loved here, and no wonder you inspire people into action! …But, if you are capable of being like this, why aren’t you like this all the time?”  Ouch. Folks, I stand convicted, and I pray to overflow with love all the time.

Wedding: Since Bishop Ntambo and my Congo family had been unable to attend our wedding in the USA, the bishop declared that he would officiate a traditional (symbolic) wedding for us during Annual Conference. It was wonderful! We even received traditional wedding presents (see below), including a traditional water cooler (pot on far right).  Be sure to ask Stuart sometime about the goat (also a wedding present) that kept us up all night on our "wedding night."   See more Congo visit photos on facebook

Returning to Lusaka, I got to work on yet another project: helping our District Superintendent John Ilunga and his clergy-colleague wife, Mary start a sewing business (The ‘salary’ they receive from the church does not cover even the basic costs of living: Their malnutrition, lack of school fees for the children and frequent eviction notices inspired me to take action).  Check out their photo album on Facebook to see what they have for sale.

August was kept busy juggling Congo communications--including helping a Congolese colleague write a grant proposal for a computer lab for our university in Kamina (I'm very excited about the video conferencing possibilities), Lusaka District tasks, the sewing project, domestic/embassy tasks, writing my lengthy Disciplinary Exam (my new fellow clergy colleagues can feel my pain on that one), and taking a much needed respite in Zanzibar with our good college friends Lou and Ilona, who were celebrating the end of their time as Peace Corps volunteers in Togo.   

As always, there is plenty more to share, but I must sign off now to prepare for another round of house guests. Perhaps the guest will be you someday!  (Did I mention our house has also become a de facto bed & breakfast for our Congolese colleagues traveling to and from Africa University in Zimbabwe?  It seems that when I can't get to Congo, Congo comes to me.)

Much love,

Taylor